Fate

I work as a full time freelancer.

About a month back I get this long time well paying project: a freelancer's jackpot. I had worked on a similar project last year as well, so I get excited and start on it. This project expects me to spend about 5-6 hours each day: a commitment made by me at the onset of the project.

A month later, that is a few days back, I get a similar kind of project. Long duration, good payment, etc. etc. Like a double whammy!

It is almost like working at two offices for a regular office going person: I am okay as I can put in those kind of hours!

I get mentally set up to dedicate those kind of efforts and let my family know about my expected busy schedule!!!

But as luck would have it, I have been suffering with a bad cough for a week now. Medication driving me sleepy and weak, I end up calling this weekend as a medical leave!

Makes me think about how unpredictable life can be and things, both good and bad, can happen when you least expect them!

So am keeping ALL MY WORK on the back-burner, and binge watching The Mentalist with a bowl of hot soup in my hands!!

lol

Dear Lee

Insights

A very interesting evening in terms of conversation with LeeSia today.

Today was Shivaji Maharaj Jayanti aka the birthday of Shivaji Maharaj, an Indian warrior king. Schools and office were closed today for celebrations. All over Maharashtra, there were celebrations in terms of enactments of incidents from his life that highlight his virtues, "dhol-tasha" aka musical bands that generally follow a kid dressed up as the king on a horse, etc.👑

I could not take the kids to watch the entire lot of celebrations in our neighborhood as I was pretty busy with work. So when I learnt about the celebrations proceeding nearby, I took the kids out.

Now they are still young to know about this great leader and I have planned for small lessons videos and night time stories for them to learn over time. So they were still calling him out as "that Shivaji" like he was some kid off the block.

Lesson no. 1: call out respected leaders and elders in a respectful manner as Shivaji Maharaj in this case.

Sia was excited all the time. When I asked why, she said, she wanted to see the birthday cake!!! 😂😂

It took me a loooong time explaining why there would be no cake: this birth anniversary was a different one than the birthday parties that we attend.

So as the people beating the drums and wishing the king glory forever (Shivaji Maharaj ki Jai) came closer, I could see both of them watching the proceeding with astonishment.

Sia even shouted: Look, there's Shivaji, pointing towards the kid on the horse. I had to tell her that Shivaji was no longer with us, he was with the Gods (they don't know the concept of heaven yet) and that it was a regular kid on the horse dressed up as the king. Then began a long explanation of the concept of real-unreal, truth and acting. 🙄

I told them how he fought off all the Mughal kings aka bad people and made everyone happy. Likhit was like, does he beat up bad boys and girls too? 😂😂

I educated them as how on these days we remember these great people and see how well they behaved and try to do similar in our lives.

After an "educational" hour, we reached home.

Near bedtime, Likhit finally asked what was on his mind: going to the gods.

I always approach the topic of death with great care.

I told him how people get old, they die and then go to Gods. He asked me if that's where my dad, his grandpa was. I replied yes.

He then hesitated and asked if I and his dad, Mandar would also grow old and go to be with God.

I said everyone does.

The expressions on his face were of pure anxiety. I quickly added: well, we will be very very old and be with kids for a long time, so he need not worry! 🤞

Sia asks if there are pink toys to play with, at God's house (her world is always stuck at pink toys! 🙄😘). I told her that if people behave well, god gives them all that they wish for. And by the time she went to God, she would be an old lady, no longer playing with toys!!!

Likhit then confirmed our parenthood for the next birth as well: so you guys will be our parents after you come back from God, right?

I hugged him tight and said Yes!!!

Here's hoping this was a helpful dialogue for them!

Boy, parenthood is no cakewalk!!!

Love them both!😘😍

I give up!

Trying to do cardio when Sia is at home is a near impossible task.

Trying to ride my back when I am doing yoga lying down, 😟

Trying to tickle me 😂

Asking questions on why am I bending in a certain way 😯

Messing up my count on purpose 😜

All the time laughing at my actions and mimicking 😁

Serving me make-believe dinner and desserts 🙄

Messing up my exercise space with her toys ⚽

I finally let go of my exercise and cuddled her and played with her!!! 😘

Where's the creativity???

My son Likhit is watching this much awaited movie of his favorite cartoon character: Little Singham.

Guess what? It's a blatant copy of Infinity War movie. Thanos is some "kaalrakhshak", infinity stones are some "mani" and Little Singham is stopping the kaalrakshak from getting them all.

Meh!!!

They really need creative storylines than this outright copying! 🙄

Feeling nostalgic

For those who wish to have an amazing start to your day, and if your work schedule allows you, I urge you to switch on music channels like Sony Mix and B4U. Sony Mix plays these amaaaazing Hindi songs from (8:30am to 10:am) that I can actually hum along with. Interestingly today's songs are so overpowered by the jarring music, one cannot remember even the second line of the songs!

It feels good to know that I still remember the entire songs, and I love to discuss the movies, their snippets with my maid cum babysitter....the poor soul is my only audience at that time! lol

I have been a music buff for all my life. My school and college days were filled with hindi movie songs as much as they were built around english sitcoms on star world and movies on HBO and star movies. Sadly, my current freelance career of translation, transcription does not allow me to listen to anything else through the day, with my headphones on.

No wonder I enjoyed playing songs at one of my previous office and was known as DJ for the team! hehe
I think it is so great that one gets to choose some awesome tracks and liven up the moods of people around you....

So go ahead and tune up these channels and have a great day ahead!!!

Blessed!

Likhit being the first baby of the house, his childhood was obviously celebrated and treasured. With Sia's birth, I was blessed with another chance to witness pure innocence.

She is exactly opposite to her elder brother, and very talkative, creative and just an amazing child. As she is growing, I feel her beautiful, precious, innocent childhood slipping out of my hands to time. How do I capture her using some wrong terms, her absolutely hilarious grammar, her so-called "scholarly" debates with her elder brother, her confusing of tenses by calling yesterday as today and tomorrow as yesterday (a total mix up there, but so very adorable)?

I keep loving her every moment I get. (Likhit has a social life with his friends and does not get a lot of time with me due to his school, studies and playtime) I have formed this absolutely beautiful bond with my daughter that just aches my heart, and I am spellbound by the magic of this relation!

I remember phrases of Likhit's babble when he was a kid. I hope I am able to save up on Sia's nonsense talks as well, and treasure memories through videos, for me to enjoy these beautiful days when she grows up to be a real smart kid!

The time Lady Luck stopped smiling …

I had recently joined an organization & was in my initial days of training, or "warming up".

I had made friends with a colleague who traveled in the same train as mine. Even she had hardly any work load those days. So once we decided to leave “on time”, that is, at sharp 6. Though the official timing is 5:30 pm, majority of the people start leaving by 6:15 or so.

As planned, we packed our belongings, & dashed out at sharp 6 pm. The normal delay points are at getting the lift & the bus. However, that day was special. It was like we had the lift as well as the bus waiting just for us. We were quite pleased with ourselves. I even started making plans for some personal net surfing on reaching home early.

Wonder of wonders happened that we had a fast local train just arriving into the station as we entered the railway station. I got a great seat that allowed me some cool breeze. I was totally relaxed with a book in my hand. Another brownie point for my fate!

We smiled at our luck again. I guess we did that too soon.

In about 40 mins, the train reached Thane station. It would be another 20 mins or so for Dombivali station to arrive, where I was to get down. I was eager to step in my home & chill off the bonus time.

And then… as if someone had thought ill of me, the train halted in the tunnel in it way. It took a good 15 mins to start just to stop again ahead for some track work going on. By this time, the so called cool breeze had vanished & I had sweat trickling down my forehead that was wrinkled with worry & frustration lines already.

And as my dear Lord wished, it took a grand 40 mins for the train to reach its destination. The speed with which it traveled made me believe I could have reached earlier by walking. :(

I learnt a good lesson that day…not to count your blessings too soon…Lady Luck hears you & decides that you had had enough…

After this incidence, I have encountered this twist of fate many times wherein the lift, bus & the train all cooperate but the bus from the station to my home does not. I guess you cannot have it all on one day.

But being the optimist that I am, I wait for the day all these join together like a perfect jigsaw puzzle & I reach home in the stipulated 2 hrs.

You Complete Me

Your one smile…
& my tired mind is brightened up

Your one pat on my back…
& I know everything will be all right

Your one look of appreciation…
& I walk with the confidence of a beauty queen

Your one call saying u need to see me,…
& nothing else in the world feels any more important

Your one look of anxiety…
& I am not sure if it is so important for me to take it up

Your one good morning call…
& the morning indeed becomes good

You make me laugh
no matter how terrible I’m feeling

You make go angry over you,
so much that I wanna kill u

You make me do crazy things
& bring out the kid in me

I feel like a complete woman
when I make love to you

I know what being a mother is like,
when I scold you

Thanks for being in my life
& making it seem more beautiful
than it was ever possible.

Pawoos2

Pls click on the post for better reading: it is a JPEG image

Pawoos1

Pls click on the post for better reading: it is a JPEG image

Trek

(click on post for better reading: post is a JPEG image)

Reasons I Hate You

Am crazily in love with u for the past couple of days: nothing new!!!

Though I must admit I was disappointed on Valentine's Day when you took almost half an hour to point out 10 reasons why u love me. I am sure I can do much better.

I was planning to write down the typical “101 reason why I love you” kinds stuff for u. but then I thought, “hey, why not hate him once for a change on this lovey-dovey day?”

Whacko me, as usual.

Ok then. I hate these things in u:

1. You keep cracking those PJs of urs when I m like terrrriiibllyyyyy angry. You just piss me off more & bring me to wits end.

(well, I do love you for not joining me in my mood & eventually starting a fight!)

2. You are always on time in spite of knowing the fact that I’ll never be crowned “miss punctual”.

(I love to rush to the meeting spot to see you waiting for me rather than reaching there & not finding you)

3. You are sooo damned suspicious of any guy found in 10 ft diameter of an invisible circle around me. One name repeated twice in a day & I have to face a bombardment of questions. & that oh-so-typical line of urs : “I trust u, but I do not trust the other guys”. Relaaax.

(I do enjoy this attention & possessiveness; albeit just reduce it a bit)

4. You make me walk from the insides of the road. Why do you have to be the knight on the road? As if I have not handled myself well in the traffic all my life!!!!

(Well, I do admit my habit to stray in the middle of the road when lost in talk & understand your concern. Besides, it’s a relief no to worry about the oncoming traffic & the “unintentional” touches of the road Romeos.)

5. Ok now. Once n a while let me be real angry on u for a long time & let me scream & shout at you. Every time u start up this “1,2,3...” count of yours & I break up into a silly grin! RESPECT MY ANGER!!!

(Well, that is the very first reason I fell in love with you, didn’t I?)

6. Stop thinking on my behalf & jumping to conclusions. I have my tiny brain that is quite functional, whether you believe it or not. “I m sure you are thinking about this, I am sure you don’t like this”...& so on. Now, now. Don’t tire your brains so much. Allow me to voice my opinion too.

(Its actually funny the way you think about my thought process, my opinions. Gives a good insight into your perceptions about me as a person. But I repeat...relax.)

ummmm...I was all set to jot down 10 hate u pointers. But, I really can’t think ahead of this.

Do remind me of this list during our next fight.

Till then,

Hate u with all my love,

Your bachcha.

Love conquers all

It had been real long time that I gave any space for any wild random thoughts to drift in the vacuum of my brain.

Today, as I was checking my mail on home PC, I turned on my gazal collection.
Frankly, I have some typical favorites in that huge collection that I play regularly. Apart from the reason of time, not understanding Urdu well is another valid reason for not listening to the entire collection often.

Neways, I stopped mid tracks as I listened to “Chak Jigar Se…”

I have a friend who is going through some real testing times.
He has recently left his well to do family, taken up a small room on rent, is struggling with his business…all for his love.

This may be one of those regular love stories… boy striving through tough times for his girl.
But then I have seen up close and front his fate after his decision.

It takes a lot more than those rosy dreams and those soft whispers of promises to take up life upfront for your love.

He left his home with hardly any cash on himself.
He has been putting off his hunger pangs by managing on a vada pav or two. Those two shirts can be seen every alternate day.

He is striving to earn enough to pay off his rent, the bike has already been kept aside...it is all walking for almost 40 mins to the office.

Initially, everybody wondered if he could pull himself through all this.
Trust me, he has.
For the first time, I saw the power of love at work.

I was plain jealous of the girl for whom he managed to take up this test of fate.
She loves him equally and has supported him completely through this. She saves up some pennies to work up for the rent, sees to it that he has a meal whenever they meet.

Looking at them holding hands, I just know deep inside my heart that they will make it.

They just would.

God cannot even dare think otherwise.

They have won it all…they are together even on the thorny roads.

Now it is His turn to bring out the gardens for them.

The Magic of Rains!!!

I call it the Magic of Rains!!!

For the rest of 8 months, my favorite pen and the journal book are safely tucked inside the cupboard. Its not that those "momentary inspirations"(?) to sit down with a pen and a paper to jot down a few thoughts don't strike me like lightning. But somehow, I just let those urges pass by.

The day the rains start pouring down, all my practical senses vanish like poof!!!

I am just forced by some magical forces to sit down all relaxed, in my window, and stare across the pouring rains.

The vast greenery spread outside it is such a soothing sight. It relaxes me in a way nothing else can.

Its not just the pouring rains but also the "accessories" that come along. The hot, oily snacks like pakodas, bhajiyas, hot piping tea, accompanied by slow, romantic ballads make the perfect setting.

I repeat myself...it is the Magic of Rains!!!

The Pen

It has been real long time that I actually wrote anything personal, or typed anything, to be precise.

Nothing called writer’s block or whatever.

Pure laziness.

Had quite a few ideas rolling there in the grey cells.
Till now, I had all the so called “genuine” excuses up my sleeve: “not the right mood”, “the rains haven’t come in”, and the best of all…”I don’t have my favorite pen with me!”

The last one was quite a fact.

I had lent that pen a long time ago to a friend of mine for a while (an hour). He’s still returning it back to me. He claims that the pen has proved ‘lucky’ for him, and it would be "mighty cruel" of me to ask it back from him.

Filmy. Very filmy.

He is certainly not interested in gathering the fact that the pen is my favorite, the one with which I started my writing. It is something that I look around every time the writing bug hits me.

Neways, as I understood that I was not to get it back, I started my search in the market for a similar one.

Trust me, it took me two whole months to get it.

The shopkeepers showed me all types, from gel pens to the Chinese stuff.
But not what I wanted.

It was not a very special pen, so to say. But it was certainly not easily available.

Also my description “it is a grey pen with a blue stripe or a dot on it…ummm..its is not exactly blue but a greyish blue! (Smart me!). Not a gel pen, a pilot one.”
Looked like it didn’t help much to search it from a maze of pens.

My despair grew. The rains were fast approaching.
Also there were those amazing mornings, those beautiful (everyday) moments with my family, friends, etc.

And finally I got it!

I was casually browsing in a stationary shop for a notebook one evening as I waited for my friend. (Ah, I hate him so! Makes me wait, always).

It as then that I noticed MY PEN!

Trust me, I mentioned this discovery to almost all my friends over the next few days. “Hmmm, so the talking lady can be expected to be quiet for some time, as she writes?” commented a smart Alec.

Well, the pen still lies in my purse, just the way as it was bought.

As I said, pure laziness. ;)

I need to connect !!!

It happened one day:

Scene 1:
I was not sure that my prepaid cell plan was the best for me. Hence i went to cellular service provider's gallery to know what other plans they had, including billing. I had my boyfriend along with me. As I saw the monthly rental of the lowest billing scheme, I said to him: "I don't call that many people neither do many call me. The only two people I communicate with are my mom & you. I guess I should carry on with my current plan. I don't need to upgrade!"
He just shrugged his shoulders in agreement & we left the gallery.

Scene 2:
As we were en route to a restaurant for lunch, I had a real good fight with my boyfriend over something silly. We started with our lunch in huff puff silence. In frustration, he said something stupid like: "These fights are turning to be stressful & unless we act on them, they will char our relation to the extent that you might walk away...the way I know you. I would then have a very a short life, if it was without you!". The moment he said this, my eyes brimmed with tears. Forget living without him, I cannot even dare to think of such a situation! I realized my life was so very focused on him, dependent on him! It took him a hell number of his stupid PJs & sorrys to bring me back to normal, albeit with puffed eyes & red nose! :)

Scene 3:
after lunch we headed towards his office as he had to mail something urgent. As there was no electricty, we were doing some TP with his office friends in his office, waiting for the currents to flow. I was in the middle of a conversation, when i got a message from my close friend saying she had lost her brother last week. I was very shocked. i immediately called her up & told her I would be there. Everyone around started asking me questions about her brother. I could not answer them sufficiently well as I did know her family well. I was embarrassed to admit to my guy that though I treasured her as a close friend, communication from my side was truly pathetic...almost once month. I could not call her a close friend exactly but she has been special for me as we connect really well.

Scene 4:
i was on my way to my friend's house for offering my condolences & to try to understand how things had happened so suddenly. I set thinking of all the people whom I was not in communication with. There were a couple of people whom I shared some good bonds with. Earlier I used to call them up regularly every week, or almost everyday to some & get frequent calls from them too. After the 26/7 deluge, I got somehow mentally stressed & lazy & did not call anyone often. I called up my boyfriend to discuss this. I confessed that my whole life in recent months had been focused on him & my mom. This was good though not very healthy. These were people who had given me emotional support through my troublesome times & were there when I wanted them to be. i did not bother to know what was happening to others. This was precisely why I was shocked to know that one of my close friends had left her job of teaching & was home due to some tension. I had no idea as what was happening with others: what jobs were they in, their marriage plans, new shopping, any other happenings in their lives...I was absolutely clueless. I then decided: I am gonna get myself a billing plan & call these people often...no matter if only for a Hi.

Next time I want to be there when my friend needs me!!!

I need to connect...do you???

Paradise World

On Holi day's afternoon :

watched a beautiful program on national geographic about the bird of paradise. This bird is so colorful & beautiful...its like watching some human-made graphic animation! The commentator talked about the females going over the board while choosing the male for mating. Darwin had expressed anxiety over this trend in these birds. The male bird of paradise does not take any "family responsibility". all he does is copulating for eggs & then flying away. No wonder the females are choosy as they are the ones who have to bring up the little ones.

a male bird was being watched over by the NG photographer. to attract the female, the male bird cleared his dance area. He cleared it so spic and span that there was not a single little leaf lying around. He also went to the lengths of cutting away the leaves of the surrounding plants if they obstructed the light shining down on his dance area. The male bird supposedly takes care of his dance area for about 5 months or so. He had a colorful, many layered body. His feathers were beautiful & exotic to look at. His tail was like two little curved threads.

i tried searching for the exact image the way the bird was. I did not get it on net, not even on national geographic. However, I got to see many colorful variations of the same species. The male bird shown on the program was something like this, though more colorful:



It was all very fascinating to watch. For long, no female responded to the male bird's calling. After long, his luck answered & a female flew down. The male performed beautiful dance in the form of artistically spreading his wings & mane hair.

The photographer thanked the tribals for introducing him to their sacred rain forests. He also expressed a fear of commercialization as a threat to the now existing beauty of the jungles.

Later in the afternoon, i was again browsing channels idly. I happened to watch a thrilling scene again on National Geographic. There was this NG fella bungee jumping from threatening heights. an eagle was released from the plane along with him. The eagle soared downwards alongside the guy. This fella had a small pouch containing meat that the eagle managed to swoop down on at the last minute. it was a breathtaking scene to see the fine balance & speed of the eagle. The shot was then shown in multiple angels & in slow speed.

The program also showed glimpses of these speed performances in various other animals such as the snake, the cheetah, chameleon etc. the host concluded the show by rightly saying "these animals use speed for their survival!"

Only if we venture a little ahead to these nature channels, ahead of the regular soaps & Hindi movies...we get to watch a completely new world that exists on the same planet as ours but miles away.

These are the times when you know television is a boom!!!

For a good laugh

After along time, i laughed out aloud like crazy...that too, in my office!
I happened to visit Vinod Ganesh's blog.
The guy is way too good!

Even my colleagues were in splits ends!!!

Do visit the blog that's hilarious as hell & is rocking!

Smells of life...

I fill myself with the smells of...

freshly cooked rice

baby talc on my niece’s skin

“mogra” at the gajre-wali, as i walk out bone tired fro the railway station

shampoo in the hair on a lazy yet fresh Sunday morning

wet earth after the first rain

perfume as i deck up for a special evening

batata wada at the railway canteen in evenings

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